Donna M. Cole

I do

When we talk about vocations, the first image that pops into our collective mind is rarely that of married life. We have been conditioned to elevate the ordained and religious life as being “true” vocations; everything else is secondary or subordinate. We revere the celibacy to which few are called over the chastity to which we are all called regardless of our way of life. In all of this we risk reducing married life to a means of producing more of the faithful, more priests, more religious. In reality, married life has a unique nature and value as vocation. As the foundational family unit, it is at the root of community life in which “all members of the family exercise the priesthood of the baptized in a privileged way ‘by the reception of the sacraments, prayer and thanksgiving, the witness of a holy life, and self-denial and active charity’ (Lumen Gentium 10). Thus the home is the first school of Christian life and ‘a school for human enrichment’ (Gaudium et Spes 52 §1). Here one learns endurance and the joy of work, fraternal love, generous — even repeated — forgiveness, and above all divine worship in prayer and the offering of one’s life” (Catechism of the Catholic Church1657). In short, marriage is the first example of Christian living. In the National Pastoral Initiative for Marriage, the U.S. Catholic bishops commit to building a culture of marriage, using a blend of tradition, science, and the lived experience of married couples and laypeople to support marriage and the family. The NPIM began in early 2005 and will run through 2011. The research and consultation phase is complete, and the second phase, including a pastoral letter, is nearly finished. The final phase will result in the development of pastoral resources. To learn more about the NPIM, visit www.usccb.org/laity/marriage/npim.shtml.

In this issue, ML, in conjunction with the National Pastoral Initiative for Marriage, focuses on marriage and ministry from a variety of perspectives. Each of the feature articles in this issue is written by National Association of Catholic Family Life Ministers. Linda Moses emphasizes the importance of making a positive connection with engaged couples and describes ways to extend the hospitality of the parish. Mary Ann Paulukonis explores the rite of marriage and the liturgical options unknown to so many. Kathy and Steve Beirne share their understanding of how to sustain the sacramentality of marriage. Patricia Crane Ennis offers her perspective on the importance of skillful and prompt intervention when a couple is encountering serious difficulty in marriage. Don and Chris Paglia reflect on the many ways that marriage affects ministry and the ability to offer service to others. This series of articles on marriage will conclude with two follow-up features in the April issue.

As a society we continue to struggle with the definition of “marriage” and with what constitutes a “family.” Those issues will continue to challenge the church as well, but ongoing study and open dialogue are key elements in meeting those challenges with an informed faith. As Christian communities, as we come to a deeper understanding of the nature of sacramental marriage and its role, we have a responsibility to be more proactive in the service we offer to married couples and in the opportunities we offer them to participate in active ministry. We should put aside any thinking that glorifies one way of life over another and focus more deliberately on the grace offered us in the way of life to which we are each called. “The entire Christian life bears the mark of the spousal love of Christ and the Church. Already Baptism, the entry into the People of God, is a nuptial mystery; it is so to speak the nuptial bath which precedes the wedding feast, the Eucharist. Christian marriage in its turn becomes an efficacious sign, the sacrament of the covenant of Christ and the Church. Since it signifies and communicates grace, marriage between baptized persons is a true sacrament of the New Covenant” (CCC 1617). If we put as much value on this sacrament as we do every other, the bishops’ goal of promoting, strengthening, sustaining, and restoring marriages seems not only possible but critically necessary. The question remaining is, will we step up to the challenge? Now it’s our turn to say “I do.” ML

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