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Andre Papineau

When Jesus had finished speaking he said to Simon, "Put out into deep water and lower your nets for a catch." Simon answered, "Master, we have been hard at it all night long and have caught nothing; but if you say so, I will lower the nets." Upon doing this they caught such a great number of fish that their nets were at the breaking point. (Luke 5:4-6 )
 

Peter was on a fishing expedition. Of course he wouldn't have identified it this way. To him this would have sounded too....well, fishy. But consider!

Peter was 25, not bad looking but not a knockout either. Slightly shy but not inarticulate he could hold his own carrying on an intelligent conversation. Having recently graduated from college he taught math at the local high school. Peter had a few close friends with whom he partied, went to movies, and occasionally a baseball game. He loved to read mystery novels as well as the classics and had read Moby Dick two or three times. As far as romantic interests? Well he was looking but hadn't found anyone he was interested in. And since he was slightly shy an aggressive approach to getting the right catch wasn't appealing. The bar scene turned him off, and the women he admired at school were already married. Shopping malls and food stores seemed inappropriate places to go to meet a potential mate. "I'd be hauled in as a stalker if I hung out at the malls," he laughed as he told a friend. 

Then how was he to meet anyone with whom he could be romantically involved? This was on his mind one Sunday evening as he approached the church where he regularly attended the evening services. Entering the church he slipped into a pew about ten rows from the back of the church. No sooner had he sat down than he happened to glance across the aisle. "Holy Mackeral," he gasped as he spotted this gal who was a real knockout. Then and there he fell for her hook, line, and sinker! "I've got to meet her. But how?" he wondered. Since he wasn't the kind of guy to cross the aisle and say, "Hi, my name is Peter. Shall we get together for a tete-a-tete after Mass?" He knew he had to use a different kind of bait. But what kind?

He decided that the following Sunday evening he'd show up an hour early at the front of the church, wait for his beloved to appear, "accidentally" bump into her...and voila! He'd then exude oodles of charm and apologize for being so clumsy. And to secure her interest he'd wear designer clothes, spray mint on his breath, rub Obsession on his cheeks, and Old Spice under...under, you know where. 

So the following Sunday he shows up an hour early at the front of the church. He smells like a rose garden, like no other rose garden. He waits and waits and waits for the gal of his dreams to appear so he can "accidentally" bump into her. As it happens he bumps into everybody but her. The church bells signal the service is about to begin and he's still standing outside, a lonely sentry, waiting for this gal to show. Dejected that she hasn't shown up he drags himself into the church. And guess what? He sees her ten pews from the back of the church. What? How? He scratches his head. Of course! "Damn" he mutters, then quickly neutralizes the damn with a sign of the cross. "She entered through the side door," he concludes Unfortunately he hadn't thought about the side doors when he planned where he'd do his fishing.
 

Still he manages to maneuver himself into the same pew as hers...with about four people between himself and her. Obviously she doesn't notice him. But everybody else does. "Phewww!" someone mutters. With all that Obsession on the cheeks, mint on the breath, and Old Spice under...well, you know where....folks are bound to pick up the scent! Still the evening's not a waste. At the exchange of peace he manages a stretch that torpedos past four startled parishioners as he touches the fingers of the gal he adores. No matter that she can't even see whose fingers are touching hers. Given the circumstances who could ask for anything more? He cast the line and got a nibble. her. That's something! But she hasn't taken the bait...not yet! Elated, he glides home, admires and winks at himself in the bedroom mirror. The expedition is underway.

The following Sunday evening its Obsession, mint on the breath, and Old Spice all over again! On his way to church he plots how he'll draw this gal's attention. He's savy enough to know that he's got to canvas front and side entrances as he waits for her at the church. He also realizes this will be a bit taxing as he moves quickly from front to side to front entrances, etc. 

At the church he puts his plan into action. What he hadn't calculated was her ability to change her appearance so dramatically. Different hairdo! Different makeup! etc. So when she arrives, she slips right past him. 

Exhausted from running to and from entrances he once more drags himself into church. Finally he spots her where she usually is -- the tenth row from the back! "So, she's gotten away again," he moans. But this doesn't deter him. Immediately he spies an empty spot in the pew directly in front of her. All the while mumbling, "`cuse me! `cuse me! `cuse me!`" he climbs over five parishioners to the place in front of her. And when it's the time to give a peace greeting, he turns to her, smiles broadly, shakes her hand, sighs, and shakes her hand again. Then he casually points to the lapel of his jacket showing a card with his name, address and telephone number.. She smiles, then turns to the folks in back of her to shake their hands. But Peter sighs, "Ah! That smile!" Another nibble! And that's it for this Sunday's liturgy. 

He follows the same procedure for several more Sundays. Back, front, and alongside of her...always the same gesture of shaking her hand, displaying the "bait" and waiting for a response. But no response other than that smile. 

He gets desperate. Now he croons songs during the Mass that ordinarily he would have barely sung. Parishioners don't know what to make of this crooner. But the choir director does. "Hey, why don't you join the choir? We could use you!" 

"Why not?" Peter thinks. "More visibility. She's bound to notice." Oh yeh? She smiles like she always does but she doesn't rush up and gush over his singing.. 

So Peter decides he'd like to be an usher when he's not singing! That way he'd be able to escort her to her pew! "Ah! A brilliant idea," he thinks. So he escorts her... not just to her pew but halfway into the pew! And yes he gets exactly what he's always gotten from her -- that smile. Nothing more. 

By this time Peter is weary. He's tired of fishing for her attention. One evening as he's reading Moby Dick for the fourth time he's thinking of everything he's done to get her attention - waiting at the church door, offering a sign of peace, posting his name and address on his lapel, singing in the choir, serving as an usher. He's convinced of only one thing. He's become a very active participant in the liturgies! But he's frustrated. He's tried everything--and gotten nowhere with the girl of his dreams. As he's thinking about this he gets a phone call from his good friend Grace Fisher. She tells him she has this terrific gal she'd like him to meet. Well Peter's reaction is "Forget it! I've had such lousy luck in the past couple of weeks. Why do I need more?" 

"Oh come on Peter! You're trying too hard. You need a break!"

"Oh....ok," he sighs. Grace prevails!

The next night he goes to Grace's house and, ...and guess who's there? Lo and behold it's the gal he had been dying to meet at church for weeks and weeks! There he had plotted, ployed, postured, primped and preened and nothing came of it. Week after week! And now? Without any doing of his own...there he is face to face with her. And did they ever hit it off! Wow! What a catch! All thanks to amazing Grace! 

Like the apostle Peter, Peter in our story had been out in the boat doing everything possible to get a good catch...and got nothing! What does this tell us? You can be the best fisherman anywhere, casting your nets in the best of waters, be in charge of the whole bait house, and have the biggest fishing fleet. But when it comes to getting a good catch, the catch that brings joy to your life--that makes it worth jumping out of bed in the morning and facing the day--well, no scheming, no angling, no contrivances, no plotting, ploying, primping and preening, no charm, wit, or mint on the breath will do it! 

Then how do we get a good catch? The only bait that counts in getting a good catch in life is trusting that grace is there. Trusting that whenever we're down, frustrated, tired or depressed, we're not alone in the water. That what we're after often isn't of our own doing. It's a matter of grace. Amazing Grace!
 

Andre Papineau, SDS, is a Salvatorian priest. He teaches at Sacred Heart School of Theology in Franlkin, Wisc. This story is excerpted from his forthcoming book, Jesus and the Kingdom of Nobodies (Resource Publications, Inc., 2000).
 

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