The Rite Stuff

Those of you who have been following this column for a while know that nearly all of its content is drawn from somewhere in my pastoral experience, usually fresh from the current month. With all that is going on in the church these days, I am never lacking for a subject. So it was this past month as I was preparing parents for their baby’s baptism. 

Many of these parents are classic Catholics of their age group, meaning that at least half of them never completed their initiation. I know this because on the parish form that generates the baptism certificate, I ask them to circle the sacraments they have received. Several times a year I gather these forms and contact these parents again to inquire if they would like to prepare to receive these sacraments. It is surprising how many will say yes; they somehow had the impression that once you passed a particular age, it was hard to “get in.” 

One of the reasons we do this flows from our emphasis in these prep sessions that they are the “primary catechists” for their child. Last month, a parent (we call her Rita) told me she wanted to receive confirmation. I assumed that because she was asking for the sacrament that she already had some catechetical training. As questions began to unfold over the suitability of some godparents she had chosen, it turns out she was completely, as we say, unchurched — her mother had brought her for baptism as an infant and they never returned to practice the faith. 

This conversation led to others about her sisters, whom she wanted as godmothers but who also were completely uncatechized. In turn, the daughters of these sisters, 13 and 15, were in the same boat. They wanted communion and confirmation and thought it would be a few classes and they would be done. Rita’s husband has no church affiliation at all and was never baptized. So it’s all in the family, I guess! We decided that we would baptize the baby this Easter and everyone named above would join our initiation process in the fall. 

These are the kind of faith histories that are becoming much more common these days. As I relayed all this information to our pastor, I told him how glad I am that we had decided to slow down the baptism prep process and talk more honestly with parents about the practice (or lack thereof) of their faith. A few years ago, under a different sacraments director and pastor, this child would have been baptized at this parish without any questions, and it would have perpetuated the same poverty of faith that this mother possessed. Through a few simple questions, not only will the mother kick-start her faith again but it will also regenerate the faith of her two sisters, their daughters, and possibly her husband. They are very excited about the future and, ironically, so is the grandmother who never churched them in the first place. While she still doesn’t practice, she is thrilled to see her children interested. (I’m sure there is another story behind that one that is yet to be revealed).

It has become too common a practice these days just to give out sacraments without calling people to deeper conversion. It seems to stem from a fear that this will “drive them away from the church.” That seems to me odd reasoning. It’s time for us to stop treating sacraments like products for purchase and consumption. They are always meant to bring us into deeper life in Christ within the faith community — the Body of Christ. We have to connect people back to the Body if they are ever to grow deeply in faith. These young parents are actually very hungry for spirituality; few know how to belong to the church or how to participate. Many have never been taught how. These sacrament preps offer a unique opportunity for us to re-engage them in faith practice. We need to find the courage to challenge them to grow. They won’t do it fully or perfectly at first, but I truly believe one reason they are absent from our pews is that no one has thought to genuinely invite them to “full and active participation.” Let’s not be afraid to ask enough questions so that we can offer everyone the opportunity to grow into the full stature of Christ. ML

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