ML Guided Study

It is tempting for pastoral ministers to be cynical about weddings. Too often, it seems that two young adults, till now unknown, show up. They appear more concerned with their reception than the liturgy. They may even ask that bad pop love songs be sung solo or that bizarre things involving sports teams or cartoon characters be included. 

Fight that temptation! These are baptized people whom God is calling to this sacrament. We are here to serve them, no matter how little they understand liturgy or how hostile they are to parish policies about throwing rice. Yes, this is difficult. But part of the difficulty is that we have abdicated our responsibility to catechize about the nature and celebration of Christian marriage. We allow bride magazines, the weddings of foreign royalty, and fictional film characters to set the agenda. 

Schedule two-and-a-half hours to study closely the rite of marriage. As you do so, resist the cynical voice that will say, “Yeah, right. That will never go over.” Instead, always be asking, “How might we persuade couples in this community to trust the tradition and give the rite a chance?” Make sure that all who have any role in this sacrament — from preparation to rehearsal to ministering at the liturgy — participate. 

Either invite two or three couples recently married to join in the discussion at this point, or think about having a town-hall meeting with recently married couples as a second part to this study session. 

Before you meet

Make sure that all have copies of the 1969 edition of the Rite of Marriage. It is available in The Rites of the Catholic Church, Volume 1 (The Liturgical Press). Encourage all to read the rite and underline any parts that they think should be discussed vis-à-vis current community practice. Gather any available orders of service. Bring along bulletin announcements, fliers, and/or any catechetical materials used, too. 

To begin

Pray to the Holy Spirit. Use the prayer that opened the Second Vatican Council. It’s in the 1989 Book of Blessings (552A). 

Remember and share personal experiences of this sacrament. 

Read aloud paragraphs 76–79 of the Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy.

Discuss: If we were to advise the bishops of our country on devising a rite or rites that incorporated “praiseworthy customs and ceremonies” of our people, what would those be? 

Review paragraphs 1–7 of the rite’s praenotanda

Note which passages, if any, were underlined by anyone. 

Discuss: Evaluate the theology of marriage offered here. What’s strong? What’s weak? 

Review paragraphs 8–11. 

Discuss: Do we avail ourselves of both rites — at Mass and apart from Mass? How is the decision made? Are both rites celebrated with equal solemnity? If not, why not? How do we remedy this situation? 

Review paragraphs 12–18

Note which passages, if any, were underlined by anyone. 

Reference the orders of service and other paperwork that was collected. 

Read aloud paragraphs 19–20 and 39–40

Discuss: Is this how we do the procession? If not, why not? How can we invite people to abandon the “giving away of the bride”? What needs to be done to get the whole assembly singing an entrance, processional hymn? 

Read aloud paragraphs 21–22 and 41–42

Discuss: Who proclaims the Scriptures and leads the prayers of the faithful? Are they adequately prepared? Should parish lectors be introduced to weddings in the same way that servers are used? 

Review paragraphs 23–29 and 43–48

Discuss: Do the bride and groom assume the postures and make the gestures that all the faithful normally do throughout the liturgy? If not, why not? (Why do they kneel through the entire liturgy?) When they stand to profess their vows, which way do they face? Might we have them face the assembly and speak their vows, with the priest leading the assembly in witnessing the consent and vows? Which form(s) of the vows do we use? Rather than the “repeat-after-me” format, might it be better to have the vows printed in large type in a binder and allow for the bride and groom to speak them? 

Review paragraphs 30–37 and 48–54

Discuss: Who ministers communion? Are they adequately prepared? Should parish ministers be used? How do we handle the nuptial blessing? How does the couple perceive this gesture? 

Decide: Should we schedule a meeting with recently married couples to discuss how we celebrate this sacrament and what improvements we might undertake? What changes are necessary in the way we celebrate the rite? What catechesis is necessary? 

Assign tasks to individuals with a timeline for completion or a progress report. ML

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